The death of humanity: why the Minister for Health made the list

According to a witness, on April 10 Dr Parirenyatwa and two other local Zanu (PF) MPs, accompanied by gunmen, rounded up people in the centre of Murewa and forced them to attend a rally in the hospital grounds. “\ threatened MDC supporters with death if they ‘re-vote’ MDC in the anticipated election rerun,” said the affidavit, written and signed by an opposition activist who was at the meeting. The militiamen, apparently acting on the orders of the minister, also fired shots to round up people in the Chigogodza township.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article3835622.ece

The very naughty boy’s list

According to the BBC, this is the list of very naughty boys on the draft UN sanctions list:

Robert Mugabe, President

Constantine Chiwenga, Defence Forces Commander

Emmerson Mnangagwa, Rural Housing Minister

Gideon Gono, Reserve Bank head

Augustine Chihuri, Police chief

Patrick Chinamasa, Justice Minister

Perence Shiri, Air Force chief

David Parirenyatwa, Health Minister

Didymus Mutasa, Security and Lands Minister

George Charamba, President’s spokesman

Paradzi Zimondi, Prison Service head

Happyton Bonyongwe, Central Intelligence Organisation head

Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave…..

Rumours that both Robert Mugabe and Thabo Mbeki have joined the MDC have been described as “scurrilous” by Deputy Information Minister Rapidly-dimming Matonga. “These are lies spread by finger puppet traitors, backed by Gordon Brown,” he said in a statement issued today. “Our beloved president, pictured recently doing the MDC salute, was merely following the suggestion that Mr. Mbeki offered at a recent meeting in Bulawayo. Mr. Mbeki has told our president that, when all else fails, the best way to get rid of pesky, biased foreign-media liars and annoying, anti-revolutionary African leaders is to smile a lot, wave vigorously and mutter through clenched teeth, ‘I am NOT a murderer, I AM a hero’. Mr. Mugabe will be introducing the smile as soon as he gets the wave right.”

It’s all in the timing….

Time it takes to count 2.5 million bets 30 seconds before starter’s orders at Aintree:

About ….mmm…let’s see…um… around……30 seconds?

Time it takes to count 2.5 million Zimbabwe dollars:

0.25 seconds. Easy peasy – its the lowest usable bearer-bond denomination (10 million) divided by 4…. any Zimbabwean can do this in the blink of an eye.

Time it takes to count 2.5 million presidential votes in Zimbabwe:

…at least 4 weeks… or more… however long we need to get it RIGHT, you Bum-Puppet, Brown-Loving, Post-Imperial String-Dancers!!

Winner of the Grand National 2008:

Comply or Die.

The Opposition Rests (In Peace) It’s Case.